A few weeks ago we had the perfect weekend day. Norah spent the morning singing in person with her choir for the first time, preparing for their upcoming virtual gala. I spent the morning writing poetry at a coffee shop and then met a friend to wander through The Cloisters, which is a small outpost of The Met in a park at the very northern tip of Manhattan. Brett went for a long run and then took Conor to meet one of his best little buddies at the American Museum of Natural History with a stop at a hot dog stand for lunch. Essentially, I just described each of our individual perfect days and they were all happening at once.
After we gathered back at home for a few hours in the afternoon we decided that the best way to cap off this perfect day would be ice cream for dinner.
Conor rode his balance bike up Columbus while Norah chose instead to walk so she could wear her new maxi dress with a cardigan from Grammy. We stopped to listen to a jazz combo between 69th & 70th. The music carried us all the way to the ice cream shop. The line was long, but our view was a mix of joyful people and bright white & pink blossoms standing out next to brick buildings. We could still hear the jazz from a few blocks away. Sometimes the Upper West Side really does feel like a movie.
Walking home is when the day took a turn. My waffle cone broke and started dripping all over my jumpsuit. Conor desperately had to pee but there was nowhere in sight so I ran through a restaurant to let him go but only after Brett and I got into an obligatory parent-stress argument about it. And Norah finally realized that maybe a thin cardigan over a summer dress was in fact too chilly even for a beautiful spring evening.
“Ugh! I just want it to be summer! I’m cold, my ice cream is gone, and we still have like, forever to walk!” Norah let all her frustration out on us as we entered Central Park. At first I was frustrated that this quick shift could ruin her entire day. Why couldn’t she just focus on all of the good things that had happened that day, or the flowers still showing off next to her, or the music now hanging in the air of the park? Yes, summer will be great, but that spring day was pretty wonderful too.
But as with many things, I saw myself in her. Not that day, I was still enjoying it. But in many, many other experiences.
It’s that sneaky feeling that something better is just ahead. That even the best days aren’t quite perfect enough. That the next thing will be better.
To be honest, I’m doing it right now. These past two weeks are the first time both of my kids have been in school every morning since last March. That’s 15 hours a week I have to write or run or meet a friend or just catch up on life without constant interruptions. And you know how I’ve spent a lot of those hours? Looking forward to next year when I’ll hopefully have even more time. I’ve even planned out how I’ll spend those days in September, neglecting to plan out how I’ll spend today.
As much as we say we don’t like change, it seems that we spend a lot of our time looking forward to, well, change.
Norah continued to list out all of the things going wrong that evening as we wandered south through Central Park. Finally, Brett knelt down and told her to hop on his back. He would give her a piggyback ride home. I don’t know what they chatted about since I was jogging alongside Conor on his bike, but her heart had changed by the time we left the park. She just needed some time resting and chatting with her dad.
The next day, on a family date to a bookstore, Brett found a gratitude journal for kids. Norah lit up when he showed it to her.
“Can I pleeeease get this?!?” she begged. It was an easy yes. Her dad knew exactly what she needed.
She has been filling it out faithfully every night, listing out three things she’s grateful for, someone who brought her joy, and the best part of her day. When I took a peek just now, I noticed that her lists are getting longer and longer. She has more than three things to be grateful for, more than one person bringing her joy, not just one best part of her day. I don’t expect her not to complain, but she hasn’t mentioned wishing this season away for weeks. She seems to be enjoying it.
And me? I’m spending time resting with God, bringing all my frustrations to Him before starting my day. And while I haven’t written them down, I’m trying really hard to focus on what I’m grateful for in this season instead of longing for the next one. What about you? What are you doing to stay present in the season you’re in?
Enjoy the rest of spring, and I’ll see you back in your inbox when it’s time to welcome summer.
Jodie
P.S. I’m taking a note from Norah’s gratitude journal. Here are three things I’m grateful for, someone who is bringing me joy, and the best part of this spring season so far. What about you? What are you grateful for? Who is bringing you joy? What has been the best part of this season?
Three Things I’m Grateful For
1. Brandi Carlile -- If you know me well, this is not a surprise. She would have made every gratitude list for me for the past decade. I have preordered every one of her albums on vinyl, she has appeared in our annual Christmas letter, we have a framed poster of the Benaroya Hall concert in our hallway, and we have seen her at least ten times in venues ranging from the Tractor Tavern to Madison Square Garden. One of my proudest parenting moments is when Norah looked at me in a coffee shop a few years ago and said, “Hey Mom, this is Brandi Carlile right?” when she heard The Story on the radio. So yeah, I’m a fan and have been for awhile. I have loved watching more people fall in love with her voice and songwriting this past year, and I especially loved reading her new memoir (yes, I preordered it the day she announced it). Broken Horses is a gorgeous book. I finished it and immediately requested it on Libby so Brett and I can listen to the audio version on our drives out to the cabin on the weekends.
2. Justice Songs & Lament Songs by Porter’s Gate -- These two albums have been on repeat more than any others this past year. When I need help finding the words to pray, I start with their lyrics.
3. Adam Grant -- I hadn’t heard of him until a recent interview on The Armchair Expert podcast. I requested his book Think Again from Libby and Brett and I both listened to it. My favorite quote: “The purpose of learning isn’t to affirm our beliefs, it’s to evolve our beliefs.” Then a few weeks ago one of his articles for The New York Times gave me language for what I’ve been feeling the past few months.
This person brought me joy this season:
Molly Flinkman Her writing comes from how well she notices small things. She’s able to weave stories from everyday life so well. I really loved this piece for reminding me that sometimes staying in the moment might mean being willing to look at a broken thing.
What was the best part about your day/this season?
I have never really been into superhero movies. In fact, the only Marvel movie I had seen up until this year was Guardians of the Galaxy and it wasn’t by choice. It was the only movie showing in the only movie theater at Big Sky a few years ago when Brett and I planned a long hike for our anniversary and drove up to be stuck in a rainstorm instead. So, we watched Guardians of the Galaxy and I do remember enjoying it. Anyway, at some point over the past few months one of us decided that we should go through all of the Marvel movies in timeline order. So every Friday night we order pizza, Conor dons his Iron Man pajamas, and we have popcorn with M&Ms while we watch the next movie. It’s safe to say all four of us are pretty obsessed at this point. Conor is wearing his Captain America underwear today in preparation for tonight’s screening of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. (And pro tip -- if you also have children who never stop talking, try turning on the subtitles when watching a movie together. You won’t miss anything and they also get to practice reading.)
Thank you for sharing your gifts and encouraging me to practice gratefulness.